January 27, 2014

Anxiety and a Decision

Before I even begin today, I just have to mention that when I opened my Blogger dashboard, it said my blog has had 12345 views. I don't really care about the number of views, I just thought that was pretty cool!

Onto other things...I am anxious today. To the point where I have to sit and focus on breathing deeply. I am constantly looking at my phone to see if Steve has messaged me or emailed me or left a voice mail for me. And as I write this, the day hasn't even started yet.

We are in this strange state of limbo as to finances. We are pretty sure we will have the finances we need by the end of this week, but there are a few variables that could change because of paperwork issues. Basically though, today is a decisions day. If we decide that we're going to go ahead with this cycle I need to get blood work done today and start on the birth control pill tomorrow (did you know that part of getting pregnant via IVF includes going on birth control? It is used to keep cysts from growing on the ovaries leaving more space for egg growth). So I'm waiting for a phone call from Steve giving me an idea as to whether we will proceed with this cycle or wait for the next one. Although it would only be a delay of about 2-4 weeks if we decide to wait, at the moment that seems like a lifetime.

And suddenly, even as I typed this, the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" popped into my head. What an awesome reminder to praise the Lord for His many blessings and a reminder of his provision. Even when my emotions are flying up and down and off the chart, He is unchanging and steadfast.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
  Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

As to the decision I referenced in the title, I've decided that I am going to talk about my ivf timeline on the blog as it's happening. However, I am no longer going to be sharing the links on Facebook (I'll still share my craft posts). That being said, if you would like to keep up with our progress, bookmark this page, subscribe by email, follow, add me to your blog roll on Feedly or whatever it is you use. 

1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to follow along with your journey, and I hope you guys are able to move forward this cycle. I know waiting just a few more weeks would seem like an eternity!



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